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I'm a victim of domestic abuse (adult)

Domestic abuse involves one person using abuse to gain power and control over another. Although most domestic violence is carried out by men against women and children, men can also suffer abuse by women. It can also happen in same sex relationships.

The perpetrator creates an environment of fear and uses this fear to control their victim(s). It isn't just physical violence; some of the most damaging forms of domestic abuse include financial, psychological or emotional control. Domestic abuse is often about power and domination, like someone you know trying to control your life.

View the power and control wheel.

Abuse can affect you long term by damaging your self-esteem and wellbeing, and that of your children. Victims of domestic abuse can attempt to flee many times before they are successful. Isolation can keep someone in an abusive relationship for a long time.

Having the right information to understand domestic abuse can help you make choices and know how to do it safely. Whether you have lived with abuse for weeks, months or years, support is available to you.

My Sister’s Place

My Sister’s Place is an independent and confidential specialist domestic violence service for women.

They provide a same day service and offer:

  • Advocacy, advice and options to keep you safe and help plan for the future
  • Legal advice and support through court processes
  • Safety planning and practical security adaptations to your home
  • Outreach support and help with housing, money and emotional worries
  • Training for agencies and community groups
  • Women’s support groups

Contact:

123 Borough Road, Middlesbrough, TS1 3AN

www.mysistersplace.org.uk

Contact number: 01642 241864


Harbour

Harbour's outreach service provides telephone, one to one, and group support for men and women who have been, or are, living with domestic abuse.

In Middlesbrough, Harbour offers a refuge service, children and adult outreach services, a perpetrator programme and the Freedom Programme.

www.myharbour.org.uk

Contact Number: 03000 20 25 25


Halo Project

The Halo Project provides support to male and female victims of abuse, specialising in forced marriage, honour based violence and female genital mutilation.

www.haloproject.org.uk

Contact Number: 01642 683 045


SARC Teesside

A Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SARC) is where victims of rape or sexual assault can receive immediate help and support 24/7, 365 days a year. Clients receive help and advice from a specially trained crisis worker who can offer support and work with you to achieve the best outcome for your needs.

You do not have to report to the police to access support.

Options available to victims of rape or sexual assault can include:

  • SARC Support to Report
  • Collection of evidence/information without police involvement
  • Sharing of anonymous information for intelligence purposes
  • Referral to specialist services including sexual health, mental health, counselling and advocacy services.

SARC staff are committed to ensuring you receive the support you need whatever you decide to do.

Contact Number: 01642 516888

The SARC is located at North Ormesby Health Village, Middlesbrough. Support and advice is available via telephone, and appointments can made during office hours.


Arch North East, Rape and Sexual Abuse Counselling & Advisory Service

Arch North East provide counselling, help and support to adults who have suffered rape, sexual abuse, sexual assault, or childhood sexual abuse.

They provide free, confidential services to men and women aged 14 years and over who have suffered rape or sexual abuse at any time in their lives. They offer a range of services to meet clients’ needs, including emotional and practical support, therapeutic counselling, and an Independent Sexual Violence Advisory (ISVA) service to advocate for clients who have reported, or are thinking of reporting, their experiences to the police.

www.archnortheast.org

Contact number: 01642 822331

Opening hours: Monday and Friday, 8.30am to 4pm; Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, 8.30am to 7pm.


The Voice Project

The Voice Project is a victim support project, offering support to victims of domestic abuse and/or harassment while the perpetrator is in custody at HMP Holme House. It is a confidential service and the prisoner does not know about our involvement.

Type of support we can offer victims

  • Home safety equipment such as personal alarms, window alarms, door alarms, decoy cameras (this is basic equipment and if required, we would make a necessary target hardening referral)
  • Emotional support
  • Make appropriate referrals for further support in their community
  • Keep them up to date on the prisoner (court outcomes, approximate release date etc.)

We can be contacted via telephone on 01642 744416 or 01642 744274. Alternatively, please email us on rachel.batey@hmps.gsi.gov.uk OR andrea.atkinson@hmps.gsi.gov.uk.

All victims of domestic abuse

  • The free national helpline for domestic abuse is 0808 2000 247 and is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Male victims

  • The Men’s Advice Line is 0808 801 0327 and is available Monday to Friday, 10am to 1pm and 2pm to 5pm. www.mensadviceline.org.uk.
  • Mankind also supports male victims of domestic abuse. The helpline is 01823 334244 and is available Monday to Friday, 10am to 4pm and 7pm to 9pm. www.mankind.org.uk

LGBT

  • Galop is the LGBT+ anti-violence charity. They can help people who have experienced hate crime, sexual violence or domestic abuse, and also support lesbian, gay, bi, trans and queer people who have had problems with the police or have questions about the criminal justice system. They run the national LGBT Domestic Abuse Helpline (call 0800 999 5428 or email help@galop.org.uk). www.galop.org.uk

Stalking and harassment

  • The national helpline for victims of stalking and harassment is 0300 636 0300 and is available Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4pm, except on Wednesday when it is available 1pm to 4pm. www.stalkinghelpline.org

Forced Marriage

  • The Forced Marriage Unit helpline is 020 7008 0151 (00 44 20 7008 0151 from abroad) and is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. www.fco.gov.uk

Legal Advice

  • The National Centre for Domestic Violence provide free access to injunctions on 0844 8044 999 and is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. www.ncdv.org.uk
  • Rights of Women helpline (for women only) is 020 7251 6577 and is available Monday 11am to 1pm, Tuesday and Wednesday 2pm to 4pm and 7pm to 9pm, Thursday 7pm to 9pm and Friday 12pm to 2pm. www.rightsofwomen.org.uk

Police officers are trained to deal with domestic abuse. They will keep the victim and children safe, assess their future risk, and if needed, refer them to a support service.

Your local police force is Cleveland Police.

In an emergency, police will attend quickly, identify the perpetrator, and take action. They are required to build a case by gathering as much evidence as possible, which may involve photographs of your injuries and of damage caused. You will be asked questions by the officer, and they will complete a form which will assess the level of help you may need and identify the severity of the abuse you are suffering. The questions have been carefully worded to ensure the appropriate safeguarding and support is put in place for you and your children.

Witnessing domestic abuse can have a significant impact on the physical, emotional and psychological wellbeing of children and young people. Read more.

During an incident children are at increased risk of physical injury, either by accident or because they attempt to intervene. Even they when are not directly injured, children can be greatly distressed by witnessing the physical and emotional suffering of a parent.

If you are in conflict with your partner or fearful for your safety, you may experience a range of issues including

  • Difficulty concentrating or sleeping
  • Self-blame
  • Low confidence and low self-esteem
  • Isolation
  • Misusing alcohol or substances
  • Emotional or mental health issues, such as depression, anger or panic attacks.

These can restrict your capacity to meet the needs of your child.

p>A safety plan helps you find ways of protecting yourself and children from abuse by planning in advance how you might respond in different situations, including a crisis.

 

  • If an argument starts, get out of danger and to a safe place. Try to keep calm. If you are in danger call 999 immediately.
  • Keep important and emergency telephone numbers with you.
  • Keep your car keys and purse in a handy place.
  • Try to keep a small amount of money on you at all times.
  • Talk to people you trust. Consider a pre-prepared code word or signal to let them know that you are in danger.
  • Keep important documents safe (passports, benefit books, driving license).
  • Teach your children to dial 999 in an emergency and what they need to say (full name, address and telephone number). Teach them not to intervene in an incident.
  • If you live with an abuser, have a support system in place - friends, family or even your doctor. Be aware that your abuser may try to cut you off from them.
  • Pack an emergency bag for you and your children and hide it somewhere safe.

If you need help to put together a safety plan document please contact Harbour (03000 20 25 25) or My Sister’s Place (01642 241864).

All schools and colleges in Middlesbrough have agreed to participate in Operation Encompass. This initiative is a partnership between Cleveland Police, Local Authorities and nominated ‘Key Adults’ within the schools. If the police are called to the home of a domestic abuse victim, information about the incident will be shared with the ‘Key Adult’ in the school within 24 hours. This will usually be at the beginning of the following school day. This ensures that children are offered support and enables them to remain in school which provides them with a safe and secure environment. Visit Cleveland Police website to learn more.

The main role of Independent Domestic Violence Advisors (IDVAs) is to support victims at high risk of harm from partners, ex-partners or family members to secure their safety and the safety of their children. IDVAs normally work with a victim from the time of crisis to assess the level of risk, create safety plans, and discuss the range of options to put victims on the path to long-term safety. You can access an Independent Domestic Violence Adviser by contacting My Sister’s Place on 01642 241864.

If you are in a relationship and you have concerns about the behaviour of your partner you may be able to find out whether they have a history of domestic abuse convictions. The scheme is designed to protect potential victims from an abusive situation before it ends in tragedy. It allows the police to disclose information about a partner's previous history of domestic abuse or violent acts.

To make an application, you will need to contact Cleveland Police. You can do this by visiting your nearest police station or calling 101.

Right to Ask: The scheme is for anyone in an intimate relationship regardless of gender or sexuality.

Right to Know: You can request the information if you are worried about a family member or friend.

If you are frightened or unsure of how to make an application, please contact some of the organisations listed under Support Services. Your call will be treated in confidence, and they will be able to advise you on your situation or offer you alternative advice.

If you are experiencing domestic abuse you may not always feel able to contact the police. Even so, you may still need some form of protection to prevent your partner contacting you, to enable you to remain at home and/or prevent the person visiting or harassing you. Local services such as Harbour (03000 20 25 25) or My Sister’s Place (01642 241864) could help you in these circumstances or alternatively you could contact the National Centre for Domestic Violence. They specialise in making applications under the Family Law Act for one of two different injunctions.

Non-Molestation Orders

These protect the victim and any children from violent, threatening, abusive and harassing behaviour.

Occupation Order

These can be used to regulate access to the family home, possibly excluding the perpetrator.

Magistrates can also grant Domestic Violence Protection Orders (DVPOs) which would prevent perpetrators from contacting victims for up to 28 days.

If you have left quickly or have decided to leave, you will need a safe place to go. If you need urgent assistance you should contact either the Homelessness Team (0300 111 1000) or one of the agencies listed under Support Services, who will be able to advise you of your options and if appropriate provide emergency accommodation. Harassment, intimidation and abuse can continue once you have left. Call the Police on 101 for advice, seek help from support services, and notify a solicitor if you have one.

If you’re experiencing domestic abuse and are in need of emergency accommodation you can contact the Homelessness Team (0300 111 1000). Anyone who is homeless or threatened with homelessness can make arrangements to discuss their situation and their available housing options with the team. You can make a homelessness application if it is unsafe for you to stay in your property.

Or call into the office for help and advice.

Rivers House, 63 North Ormesby Road, Middlesbrough, TS4 2AF

No appointment is needed and officers are available Monday to Friday, 1pm to 4pm.

Out of office hours you can contact the Homelessness Team (0300 111 1000). Calling out of hours is for homeless emergencies only and not general advice.

A refuge is a safe house for women and children escaping domestic abuse. The address is confidential and no men are allowed in the building. A refuge is a place where women are safe, and can access emotional and practical support from understanding staff.

Any woman who has experienced any type of domestic abuse can go to a refuge, with or without children. Women can stay in a refuge for as long as they need. Some women stay for a few days, others stay for months while they wait for accommodation in a new community.

Refuge workers can support you to rebuild your confidence, interests and social networks whilst helping with

  • finding a safe new home
  • budgeting and claiming welfare benefits
  • accessing health services, legal and financial advice
  • finding nurseries and schools
  • accessing local community and cultural services
  • gaining legal advice, including accompanying women to appointments and court
  • safety planning
  • training, education and employment

You can access refuge accommodation by contacting Harbour (03000 20 25 25) or the Homelessness Team in Middlesbrough (0300 111 1000).

There are circumstances that may exclude you from criteria for refuge accommodation, for example, if you are male and escaping domestic abuse, you have older male children, or you are in employment. If you have an emergency need for accommodation you could be offered outreach support and temporary accommodation by contacting the Homelessness Team (0300 111 1000).

You are able to stay in your home but should seek advice and information before making the decision. You may need additional legal protection or Sanctuary Scheme (read more) assistance. The police officer dealing with your case or support service staff would be able to help you make that decision.

Get legal advice if:

  • you have a joint tenancy with your abuser
  • the property is jointly owned
  • you are married or in a civil partnership

You may need to get an Occupation Order to legally exclude your abuser.

Along with legal measures to exclude an abuser, you can take steps to help make you safer in your home, such as:

  • fit more secure locks, door chains, and peepholes for the doors
  • reinforce doors and door frames
  • get window locks, bars, and grills installed
  • install alarms, CCTV and security lighting
  • have a reinforced and lockable safe room in the house, from which the police can be called

If you do stay at home:

  • Contact Cleveland Police and tell them that you have been a victim of domestic abuse. Give them a copy of any relevant injunction, especially if it has a power of arrest attached, so they are aware they must respond quickly to any call from you.
  • Tell your friends and neighbours that the abuser no longer lives with you, and ask them to let you know if they see them in the neighbourhood.
  • Make changes to protect yourself, such as changing telephone numbers and passwords on social media accounts/computers. You may also consider carrying a personal alarm and a mobile phone when you leave the home.

Occupation Orders are court orders. They can, for example, give you the right to stay in the family home where you didn't previously have that right (for example, where the tenancy is a sole tenancy in your abuser's name), or exclude the abuser from the home.

Occupation Orders can have a power of arrest attached. This means that an abuser who has been excluded from the home can be arrested if they try to break in. They can be given a custodial sentence or fined for breaching the order.

Get advice from a family law solicitor about Occupation Orders. An order doesn't guarantee your safety, and will only last for a limited time, so you will need to take further action to decide who stays in the property in the long-term.

You can end a joint periodic tenancy (one that's not for a fixed-term) by giving a valid notice to quit to your landlord or social housing provider. This ends your rights to live in your home and the rights of your joint tenant. Before you do this, ask if they would be willing to grant you a sole tenancy when the joint tenancy ends. Get this agreement in writing. If you have doubts or are unsure of the process, get further advice from a support service or the Homelessness Team (0300 111 1000) before contacting your social housing provider or landlord to give notice.

A MARAC (Multi Agency Risk Assessment Conference) is a meeting where information on domestic abuse cases is shared between representatives of local police, health services, child protection services, housing practitioners, Independent Domestic Violence Advisors (IDVAs) and other specialists.

A victim or survivor’s case should be referred to the relevant MARAC if they are an adult (16+) who resides in the borough and is at high risk of domestic violence from their adult (16+) partner, ex-partner or family member, regardless of gender or sexuality.

After sharing all relevant information, the representatives discuss options for increasing the safety of the victim/survivor and turn these into a coordinated action plan. The main focus of the MARAC is on managing the risk to the victim/survivor but it will also consider other family members including any children, as well as managing the behaviour of the perpetrator.

Information shared at the MARAC is confidential and is only used for the purpose of reducing the likelihood of harm to those at risk. Consent of the victim/survivor is preferred but not compulsory for a MARAC referral to be made. The perpetrator should not be informed of the MARAC referral.

The Freedom Programme is a course that helps victims of domestic abuse understand the beliefs held by abusers and the impact domestic abuse can have on children. It aims to empower participants to help themselves and build their confidence and emotional resilience. For more information contact Harbour (03000 20 25 25) or My Sister’s Place (01642 241864).

Counselling is also available for survivors of domestic abuse which can be accessed via My Sister’s Place (01642 241864).